The Ballistic Golf Club

Have you ever seen a product advertised that you just had to have? It seems to meet a need deep within your psyche. QVC knows this and knows how to relieve you of your money because of it. A few years ago, I found such an item.

While reading the paper, I came across an article about a new golf club called "the Ballistic Driver." It's perfect for the "weekend golfer."

The Ballistic Driver was a new club on the market especially designed for people who have trouble hitting the golf ball. The way it works is, the club head has a .22 caliber load built in. All you have to do in order to drive the golf ball an extraordinary distance, is to lay the club head beside the ball and pull the trigger on the club. This trigger activates a 22 caliber load, similar to a bullet, causing the clubface to shoot out of the head an inch and a half at a high rate of speed. The Ballistic Driver Company guaranteed that the ball will fly "300 yards every time . . . straight as an arrow!"

This club comes complete with a travel case. It is equipped with a safety device to keep it from "going off” in an airport or the trunk of your car.

Those of you who have golfed with me can attest that Ballistic Driver is the club for me! You see, I don’t like golf very much. I play occasionally because I like using terms like "bogey," "birdie," and "eagle" (although I've seldom used the latter two terms in conjunction with my game). I like the camaraderie of being with friends, having a coke while sitting in an electric car, and I like sunshine. Golf would be my true passion. . . if I didn't have to actually swing the club and try to figure out where I'd hit the ball.

And to my point, the Ballistic Driver is perfect for the golfer who isn't really a golfer, like me. It is the club for the person who doesn't want to spend the time and frustration to actually develop the skill necessary to enjoy the game, like me. Just point, shoot and forget the hassle and headache of concentration and consistency. . .

. . . This product got me to thinking. Maybe I can come out with a Ballistic Bible. I'm not sure how it would work, but it would be perfect for the "Weekend Christian." It would be the Bible for the person who loves singing the songs and using words like "saved," "missional," or even "praise-elujah." Maybe there could be a trigger to be pulled when an "amen" or "that’s right" is in order.

It would come with a carrying case as well as a safety device to keep it from "going off' in embarrassing places like the home, office, or a social gathering.

It would be the perfect gift for the Christian who isn't a Christian. It's the Bible for the person who doesn't want to spend the time and "sweat equity" to learn the word. Just point, shoot and forget the hassle and headache of developing a real life that is dedicated to discipleship.

I know, I’m being far too tongue-in-cheek ... but I can’t help but envision the Sham-wow guy pitching this product. I wonder how many I could sell?

All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, 17so that the man of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work. (2 Timothy 3:16-17)